The rise in daily use of AI

If you use the internet at all, you’ve most likely interacted with an AI chatbot to help you with something.

Whether it’s writing a cover letter, choosing what to pack for that last minute weekend trip, or stressing endlessly over an email you’re hoping to send to your boss before you lose your nerve. Now, you can easily turn to ChatGPT, Claude, or a range of other AI-based chats to give you answers in a matter of seconds – no conversation with another human required, what could be better?

When you get used to interacting with AI, it can quickly turn from a more “platonic” quick fix question-and-answer type of relationship, to something else entirely. In other words, it often turns into getting help with the logistical and mundane parts of life into asking AI our more personal questions, such as:

• How can I have better sex with my partner?
• Is he cheating on me?
• How should I respond to my friend’s vague and annoying ass text?
• How can I get all of these tasks done if I have ADHD brain?
• How do I look and feel healthier?
• What should I do for a career?
• Am I on the right path in life?
• Am I good enough?

None of these questions are straightforward or simple, but with AI answers at your fingertips, it’s easier than ever to get an instant response. You may wonder why choosing a human coach, therapist, or any human for that matter, is a worthwhile option. Why pay your hard earned money to sit for an hour with someone you barely know instead of getting easy answers to your personal questions for free?

So what is AI good for:

Generative AI has rapidly taken off in the past few years, and for many, it has come with benefits in productivity and effectiveness in both their professional and personal lives.

AI has been the largest topic of discussion in businesses as of late, with 64% of businesses believing that AI will help with overall productivity in 2026. AI was projected by Forbes to grow by 36.6% from 2023 to 2030. More and more, AI is becoming increasingly integrated into online tools that we use everyday. There are nearly 14 billion Google Searches daily, and now 48% to 60% of those searches generate AI overviews that quickly synthesize results, without needing to visit any website directly. For people who hate reading and potentially critical thinking, this is great news, so what could be the problem?

In addition to the use of AI in business and work, many people are also beginning to use AI for mental health and life organization support. Like in the workplace, AI can be helpful for some simple tasks like learning basic information, coming up with a list of skills to work on, or practicing in-between between coaching or therapy sessions. However, AI is not a replacement for therapy or for a human connection. AI is not complex enough and doesn’t have a consciousness to be a thoughtful guide in your life. It isn’t good at judging relationships or analyzing complex emotional situations, like the one at the beginning of this article. It might feel a lot easier to talk to ChatGPT instead of calling a friend on a Monday afternoon to talk through a problem, but calling the friend or texting your therapist is sure to lead to a more connected and grounded result, with your real life at the center.

AI is becoming increasingly integrated into our daily lives, and may prove useful for summarizing your boss’s long email or helping you find concert tickets that were buried in an old email. But outside of assistance with some more mundane life tasks, AI should be used with extreme caution when you need help sorting through something. It’s easy to let AI “think” for you, and to forget to think at all yourself. AI should be used as an assistant and not a guide for your life.

Where AI Falls Short…very short

Sometimes it might seem easier to turn to AI for answers and advice. By chatting with AI, you’re bypassing the need to talk to another human being. You’re bypassing authentic sharing, genuine connection and vulnerability, eye contact and other emotional cues, and allowing yourself to be in a context where another human is listening and responding to your experiences. Becoming reliant on AI in this way can be more harmful than helpful in the long-term. Here’s why:

1) By default, AI tells you what you want to hear.

Most popular AI models are trained to perform empathy, which is different from talking to another person who has the capacity to truly be empathetic towards you as a person and your experiences. A nuanced, grounded, and human perspective is much different from the response you’ll get from an AI chatbot. ChatGPT 4 in particular has been shown to perform empathy to a high degree, as its algorithm was developed to make people want to come back for more. People respond positively to empathy and crave human connection, with more social connection linked to longer lifespans, better health, and increased happiness. Since people respond positively to empathy, AI platforms tend to get more return users when they perform empathy and when they reaffirm the user’s preexisting beliefs. We love to hear our own names. We love to hear what we already think. Popular AI models are likely to agree with you by default no matter what your viewpoint is, and whether or not it’s actually in your best interest. This leads to reaffirming biases and continued attention, rather than challenging one’s assumptions or thoughts for true growth and development. By working with a human coach, you are allowing yourself to be challenged. You are in a safe space and may find yourself more open to suggestions:have you thought about this from Suzy’s perspective and how they might feel from your actions? How would you react if Bob said he needed space? You are choosing to build and establish a relationship of trust, vulnerability, and accountability. Coaches have lives and problems as well, and with that, offer individual perspective, and adaptive problem solving skills. By choosing a human coach, you’re committing to true accountability, growth, and connection-not bandaid fixes that have more potential for destruction.

2) Unlike a human coach, AI can take no personal accountability.

In some cases, AI has been found to lead to dangerous cases of AI psychosis. AI will make statements confidently, even if they are factually wrong, which can be dangerous, especially for people who might already be struggling mentally. While talking to an AI chatbot can mirror feelings you’d get from talking to a person, AI does not have personal life experience and it can’t take any personal accountability when it does something wrong or causes harm. When AI confidently gives misinformation, gives questionable advice, or switches perspectives without notice, there is no one to turn to to hold the chatbot accountable. In choosing to speak with a human coach, you have the reassurance that you’re speaking to another person who has a real lived experience, personhood, and a stake in the world in the way that AI can’t. By choosing to talk to a person who takes true accountability, you’re investing in your wellbeing and building a human connection that you can return to whenever you need additional perspective and guidance.

3) Taking advice from AI is like taking advice from a straight white man.

In addition to other concerns with AI, the foundational knowledge of most AI models is built on biased information which should be questioned critically. Many popular AI models are built on the knowledge, experiences, and inherent biases from tech workers who build these models, who are predominantly white, straight, male, and cisgendered. Should we really be trusting Elon Musk to give advice on what makes a good relationship? Most AI tools have built-in biases that are largely informed by a small and highly privileged group. AI models have been shown to showcase unfair preferences towards people from these groups as well, with AI tools showing racial biases and reinforcing traditional gender stereotypes. While some are making efforts to start building AI platforms with the knowledge and perspectives of marginalized groups, funding remains extremely low for these platforms to compete with more mainstream models. So before taking advice from AI, you should consider and question where it’s getting its knowledge from. By bypassing a real human connection and talking to AI instead, you’re relying on whatever biases and perspectives the AI model has been trained on, which should be a terrifying notion. My own biases scare me at times, but as an empathic, striving-to-be self-aware being, I continuously challenge and check them. Good human coaches grow their own humility – not exactly an AI capability.

→ Liv Aligned Coaching is a woman and LGBTQ+ owned business, dedicated to supporting individuals and promoting accessible and equitable coaching services. For more information, contact me or book a free consultation to get started.

Let’s wrap this up–Human coaches will always be essential for transformational growth

AI is all about efficiency and instant gratification. It relies on people to expect immediacy instead of struggling through something until they learn it. Relationships aren’t like this – to really know someone is a slow reveal. Some of your bids for connection will fail, you will need to try different communication styles, and you may hurt each other until you learn another way. Ultimately, it takes time and effort to learn each other’s languages. Perhaps if Cara was willing to live in mystery for a bit longer while learning Heather’s language, their story would have ended differently. It can be hard to reach out to someone when you’re already feeling disconnected and alone. Loneliness often breeds more loneliness. But feelings also work in reverse. Connection breeds more connection. By choosing to work with a human coach, you are committing to connect with someone who has the capability for true empathy and a grounded, human perspective that can only come from lived experience.